1. You don’t love guns, moms or ‘Merica
2. 30 minutes is too much time for a big shot like you
3. You kick puppies
4. The low low price of Free is too much you cheap bastard
5. You already have way too many people who know like and trust you and you can’t possibly handle more
6. You have tourette syndrome (google that crap)
7. You don’t want new people to discover you, your products or services because your accountant says your bank account doesn’t have any more room
8. You’re the one human being in the world who’s NOT taken in by Nathalie’s irresistible charm
9. You’re a deaf mute